A Challenge to Take This Seriously

I am not a parent, but I think I could probably handle the responsibility. Raising kids is just like everything else. You are supposed to take it seriously, but not so serious that it’s not any fun.

The challenging thing about raising kids is getting them to do what you tell them to. They don’t understand why they should go to bed, eat their vegetables, or do their homework. It is more fun to stay up late, eat cookies, and mock the teacher. It takes more experience points than children have to understand the long-term consequences of this type of behavior. So the parent should try to make the better options, the eating cookies and staying up late, sound less desirable.

Chocolate Chip Cookie

“That cookie might look good, but those aren’t chocolate chips…”

Most kids can’t tell the truth from a lie. They can’t distinguish a real threat from a bluff. They don’t know the difference between a joke and the real deal.

When your kid won’t go to bed, you just tell him he can do whatever he likes, as long as he eats his own poop first.

“Well, son, if you eat your own poop then you’ll be in charge and won’t have to go to bed when I say.”

If you kid is cool, he will be taken off guard, think you are being funny, and be less resistant to your rule.

If your kid continues to throw a fit, then he is bad, and has no sense of humor. You might as well start digging the bunker now for when he becomes a teenager.

And if your kid actually takes you up on the offer to eat poop, then you have discovered a bigger problem than homework and bedtimes. I guess its better to find out early, if your kid likes to eat poop…


“The smell. The texture. I just can’t resist!”

You might think since I have already discussed eating poop that this article can’t get any more immature…

Everyone knows the main reason a young man gets a dog is so he can attract women. A dog is like a wing man you don’t have to worry about. Having a dog is almost a sure-thing when it comes to getting attention.

“Oh, your dog is so cute! What’s his name?”

“His name is Poop!”

“That’s horrible. You should be ashamed.”

“Actually, it stands for People Oppress Other People. It’s a deep political statement. You’re the one who should be ashamed!”

And once again you face a dateless night. But it’s ok. At least you have Poop to keep you company.

“Here Poop. Here Poop. Where’d you go buddy? Excuse me, have you seen my dog, Poop?”

“No, but I’ve seen your dog pee on my leg!”

I guess I will end this with a picture of a cool dog. Can you guess his name?

Golden Retriever

Not amused by poop jokes.